A Letter From Remus
by Tedsterbear
Summary: "Dear James and Sirius,   I have absolutely no clue how to start this."


**A letter from Remus. Reviews greatly appreciated. **

Dear James and Sirius,

I have absolutely no clue how to start this. It feels like it's been so long since I've been able to form a coherent thought. It's been seventeen years since you died, James, and it has felt like an eternity. And Sirius, it feels like you passed only yesterday, but the grief that has settled in my chest feels ancient and endless. I'm hoping that by writing this letter you acknowledge that I haven't forgotten you. To the contrary, you two have been all that have occupied my thoughts lately. Is Lily alright? I'm sure she's bitter about not being able to see her child grow up. I'd feel the exact same way. Oh, I forgot to mention, though I'm sure you know, I'm married. I know I should be happier about this, but I think that I've made a mistake. Yes, I do love Dora, but we're of different eras, you see. James, you always used to joke about how I was an old man trapped in a teenager's body, and I think that the same principle has carried through still today. She's so young... And I'm worried about her.  
>She's pregnant. Pregnant. I can see the look on your faces now, and let me just say that I was astonished as well. I can only hope that the child doesn't inherit my... Well, you know, you've always known, ever since we were younger. I can only hope he doesn't inherit my lycanthropy. I have no idea as to what I would do to myself if I brought someone into this world that has to suffer the same problem as I do. My kind doesn't usually breed, so there's no telling as to how he'll turn out.<p>

I miss you both. Truly, I do.  
>There are a few things I need to get off my conscious concerning you two. James I'm so sorry for that time in sixth year, the time when I was mad at you and you didn't know why (you were more of a self-absorbed git than usual, and you refused to help me acquire a date with that cute fourth year) and I gave you the wrong answer to your essay. It's my fault you failed that class and I've always felt guilty about it. On a more serious note however, I'm sorry for not believing you, Sirius. For twelve years I wrongly thought you the murderer of not only that traitor Peter Pettigrew, but of those thirteen muggles. I couldn't believe that my friend, whom I had known all my life, did such a thing, but I blindly believed the Daily Prophet and looked no further into it. I regret it every single day of my life that I thought you could do such a thing. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and that when I inevitably join you in the afterlife, you will greet me with open arms.<p>

I miss the days when we were younger, when we felt like we were invincible. We weren't, of course; far from it. I think I have more scars from those days than all my transformations combined.

You know, I'll never forget what you two have done for me. The biggest of which was turning into animagi for me, but there was more than that. You risked your lives, not only every month, but countless other times to keep me safe, or to save me from myself. I only wish that I could have been there for one of you, taken one of your places. You two are much more valuable than me, the werewolf that can't even hold down a job without being ridiculed and insulted. James, you could have been there for Harry. He needed you; I know he did. And Sirius, had I not been able to take the place of James, you would have in a sense. You could have done so much for Harry, but that chance was stolen out from under you by that wicked wench.  
>But it does not do to dwell on what could have been. No, I have to live with being the last Marauder. That's right, Peter died not long ago, betrayed by the silver hand that The Dark Lord gave him. At least, that's what I've heard through my work for the Order.<br>I often wonder whether the Sorting Hat was wrong about putting Peter in Gryffindor. Along with that, I wonder if anyone knew that he would betray his friends. I wonder if he knew. Yes, so many things to ponder about poor Peter...  
>I am the last Marauder. It seems we were destined to die young. Perhaps that means that I will be joining you two sooner than I initially thought. Well, when the time comes I will greet death with open arms. Maybe I won't get to see my son grow up, but as I've appointed Harry godfather, I can be sure that he'll grow up in a caring environment.<br>I'm not sure as to what the point of this letter was. I suppose that I just needed to feel the connection between us again. I'm not sure that even the afterlife would be able to sever that bond. We are the group of legend, but unfortunately, the one that almost no one knows about. Actually, that's not entirely true. Harry has the Marauder's Map, and he told me that the Weasley twins gave it to them. Before I go, I'll have to tell the two of them exactly who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were. I might even give them a few tips, as long as their mother isn't around. Yes... I'll do that before the war is over; bring a bit of light to one of these bleak days. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

I suppose it's time to finish up this pointless letter... Just remember that I'm thinking of you.

I'll see you both soon.

Remus Lupin


End file.
